5 clues to spot a covert narcissist in conversation

Get 3 Minute Empowerment Plan delivered to your inbox 📬 meadowdevorcourses.com/uplevel-weekly-yt/

It is a red flag for me when someone you are conversing with doesn't want to hear your experiences.

It's actually harder to spot who's not a narcissist these days. 😆

Having narcissistic parents teaches you that it's up to you to fix everyone's problems. We have to get over the idea that we can or even should solve problems other than your own. We are not gods and other adults really can tie their own shoes.

I used to be that person - a helper, a fixer, but now I have released that need. It is so wonderful to be relieved of that burden.

"you're overthinking" "you're too sensitive" "it's all in your head"

That’s right. When you stop the convo and ask for clarification, they hate that. No accountability is their mantra.

After a handful of experiences with narcissists, covert and otherwise, my rule of thumb is that if I come away from an interaction with somebody feeling less about myself but can’t think why, and then go over the conversations we had in my head for days afterwards, I cut them off. I will not be manipulated into feeling bad about myself. I have also come to the conclusion that people who are bad time keepers are narcissists. They can be punctual for something that is to their advantage, but late for everything and everyone else. So I don’t bother with people who habitually keep me waiting. It isn’t intolerant to be fussy about who you allow into your life, it is self-preservation.

Some of these coverts encourage you tell all your sob stories and take the superior posture to make you seem odd or weird for having so much misfortune.

My mother has many of these characteristics. Now 93, at Xmas 2023 she came to stay. Noticing my phone case she said, ‘You must really like that phone case.’ Surprised that she was actually saying something nice to me, I said, ‘Oh definitely, thanks, I really love it.’ ‘Yes’, she replied. ‘To be using it when it’s in that condition.’😳😮 Ha! I realised. Our typical interaction then, when she gaslights me using passive aggression and simultaneously seeming to praise while actually putting me down. My mum is a certifiable genius at this game. Taken me 58 years to begin to work it out!

This guy took me to the movies… He tells me to get whatever I want. When I reached for some candy he said “Eweeee!! That’s what you’re getting”. I quickly put it back. He then reached for it and then said, “ You didn’t have to put it back. You can get it, but Ewweeee thats the type of dudes you’re used to dating”… It caught me off guard and I was embarrassed, as someone cheered him on… I thought I was going back into the field fully healed and he picked up on my insecurities and misfortunes in dating… Or at least that’s how I felt. The truth is PREDATORS know PREY when they see it. Having good energy attracts bad people. I learned boundaries and how to deal with narcissists due to my past. I was love bombed in a way I’ve never experienced, but he was the easiest cut off I’ve done.

I have discovered that narcissist see our actions and comments according to their own mindset. If they are rude and angry people they will assume even our kind words and actions are coming from rudeness and contempt, because it is how they would react to us.

My ex narc friend 14 years my senior used to laugh sarcastically at all my illnesses even serious ones, while she had to get all the attention from everyone for every trivial illnesses. On the top of spreading gossip about me and taking sides with other guests to put me down in my own house. Until finally I had enough and kicked her out of my life by going no contact. She panicked like mad and tried to get everyone who we both knew to ask me to call her. I flatly refused and I can't believe the peace and relief I experienced by getting rid of the toxic waste! 🎉🎉

You can give them 100 solutions to their problems yet next chit chat ,,, they are back to square one.

I had a covert narcissist friend from college for years. I could not figure out what was wrong. She made bad decicisions, then financial consequences, then I had to make up for her irresponsibility. Even when her finances greatly improved, she insisted on taking advantage of my finances or time. This went in from 1983-1996. Thirteen years. The gravy train stopped when she insisted on staying at my house when she wanted to come into town when I had a one month old baby. She said she could not afford to stay in a hotel because she just got back from a trip to Caribbean. I told her no to this one.

If anyone has watched a lot of these videos in regards to covert narcissists and just everything doesn’t seem to be ringing true… you might want to start researching ASPD. I dated a covert narcissists and ran into this situation and I watched 2.5 years of videos until I figured out I dated a narcopath. A covert narcissist sociopath. They are the masters of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Look much deeper like I did then everything will begin to make sense. Hope this helps and best of luck on your journey of once feeling whole again❤️🌈🌟❤️☀️

Recently terminated a friendship at the devaluation stage. Sudden hostility and escalating abuse. All these issues were at play. Bullet dodged. Lesson learned.

This used to be me...but I learned the hard way that people who always play victim in every scenario are refusing to take accountability for any of their own actions/inactions and choices that put them in the situation to begin with or kept them there

Normal people don't seek pity.

‘Dam if you do! And Dammed if you don’t!’ That’s how It felt…often!