This Low-Budget Horror Movie is Terrifying...For All The Wrong Reasons

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Pour one out for Elias. Spent his whole life preparing to fight a goblin, then immediately got fucked right up by literally the first goblin he ever met.

as soon as it said “9 months later” I just had a horrible feeling about what they were implying and I hate that I was right

I love how she screwed the goblin and is having his baby but he still has to live in the shed and have his food brought to him like a pet rather than a human-goblin hybrid baby daddy.

Shnoopsie sounds like a word a Christian mom would use instead of swearing when she stubs her toe

“You versus the goblin she told you not to worry about” except this time she absolutely DID tell you to worry about this goblin and you gaslit her and told her the goblin did not exist lmaoo

“just an old guy who knows shit about goblins” feels like a social media bio

The whole trope of teachers accusing parents of being abusive because of a drawing is so funny to me. In kindergarten, I drew a boy with no eyes screaming while a stork flew away with an eyeball in its beak. Not because my parents were beating me, but because my dad told me a bedtime story about kids getting their eyes plucked out by birds and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

As soon as I saw the goblin eat someone I thought "this is someone fetish film isn't it?" And I think that ending proved me right

Her being pregnant nine months after Danny was eaten by the goblin, and having the belly of a 7-8 months pregnant woman, implies that she slept with the goblin around a month after he ate her husband and step son, damn Sarah is WILD I knew something was up with her from her moaning “oh god” after seeing the goblin’s hand for the first time

Goblin shit is MASSIVE

I love that the actor who played Danny Jr. Told Kurtis on his podcast that he legit went into acting because he liked a girl in the drama class lmao

When the goblin said "It's Goblin Time" I shook in my seat with shivers down my spine, such an incredible movie.

so youre telling me that goblin engulfed a whole cougar, the husband, step son, and neighbor but was fine with settling with a bowl of dog food ???

If the “oh god” line of dialogue doesn’t become a recurring soundbite throughout Kurtis’s channel from now on, I’m going to be disappointed. That is “makin it stinky” tier audio.

I love the old mans stereotypes in this movie, because he's the most german man I've ever seen in a low budged movie. He's got a realistic accent (didn't expect that!), of course he knows everything about some random medieval legend and dedicates his life to it, and he's got random prussian weaponery hanging in his home. Also why does he instantly think the anomalys are caused by a goblin? That pretty coincidental! He just moves from Germany to America to escape that Goblin, and there just happens to be the same goblin right next door?

I would be so offended at a teacher wasting my time, calling a meeting and accusing me of shit over a drawing like that. It just looks like the kid was trying to draw Shrek. That's what I'm most fired up about lol

Nothing could've prepared me for that actually horrifying ending

When she turned around and revealed her pregnant belly I legitimately screamed. That was by far the scariest part of this "horror" movie.

I love how in the illustration of a goblin terrorizing a village has no goblin in the picture just some woman tossing her baby into a fire lol